All looking good – 15 weeks pregnant

Went for a check to the hospital this week to make sure the suture is in place OK and all is looking good.

I was really thankful the sonographer who was to do the ultrasound suggested that even though we were just there to check the suture we might as well take a good look at the baby first and check things are OK there. I must say this was a really nice ultrasound experience as I didn’t have all the intense emotion and sadness over losing our daughter this time. I guess it all just re-surfaced with the first ultra-sound at the hospital clinic. So it was nice to have a happy and positive ultrasound this time. I was amazed at just how much bubs has grown since we had the ultrasound 10 days ago. At that scan bubs had plenty of space and fluid around, but it was apparent at this scan the baby was so much bigger and had definitely grown to fill a lot of the space. Bubs had his/her hands up around the face area lots. Roger and I had smiles on our faces watching. The head and tummy measurement showed 15 weeks 3 days, and we were 15 weeks exactly so the size is pretty much on track. Bubs was moving about quite a lot, but we got a good look at all the major features. Of course we will have the anatomy scan at 19 or 20 weeks where all the checks will take place, and it’s too early to really know for sure if everything is OK or not. They gave us a printout of what looked like the baby waving 🙂 Very cute and reassuring!

So after they’d checked the baby they went on to do the transvaginal ultrasound to check the suture looked as though it was in place OK. What they found was that my cervix is completely closed (a good thing) and the suture looks as thought it is totally effective and in place. What the sonographer did find odd was it look liked there was part of a second suture still in place.

We had a follow-up with the Dr afterwards who kind of discounted what the sonographer had seen… implying the sonographer probably didn’t know and was likely to have got it wrong, but the Dr who did the surgery had written in his notes he had removed the first unsuccessful suture completely. Anyway, I know I am not willing to just let it go… I know Dr’s can get it wrong, and just because he has written it in his notes doesn’t mean he hasn’t accidentally missed removing something.

The main thing at the moment it is in place, so that’s good. However, I am not just going to forget this possibility there may be part of a 2nd stitch still there – as long as it doesn’t cause a problem right now that’s fine. But when it comes time to get it removed I will be sure to bring up this possibility part of something is left there as I don’t want them to leave something in accidentally.

I guess I have been through so many surgeries in my life I don’t just ‘trust’ that Doctors always get it right. I think they do their best, but they are human, and anyone can get things wrong, even if unintentionally. No big deal though, will just remember to follow-up on it. 🙂

Shall I be a guinea pig in the progesterone study?

We had our follow-up appointment at the high risk clinic on Tuesday to evaluate how the surgical suture went and just to check on things generally. All went really well, and once again we were impressed with the consultation we had with our obstetrician. She is lovely and always takes time to go over everything so thoroughly and doesn’t mind answering all my questions. She talked us through how the suture can cause my body to produce extra mucus which can continue throughout the pregnancy. According to the surgical notes the suture went well but to make doubly sure we are going back for a trans-vaginal ultrasound next week to check it. I guess they will look and make sure the stitch is still in place as it should be and will measure the length of my cervix.

Our appointment with the midwife went really well too. Just lots of common sense advice… and she encouraged me to continue to take it easy and make sure I am not stressed about work etc. which I’m not.  Oh, and the obstetrician checked the heartbeat with the doppler which took a bit of time to find, but that was good too.

They have a study currently taking place at the clinic for anyone who has had a previous pre-term labour and is currently pregnant, so of course we are eligible to take part if we want to. It’s to see if progesterone treatment (in the form of pessaries) can help with preventing premature labour. Apparently progesterone is thought to help keep the uterus relaxed and therefore less likely to contract I guess which happens when you go into labour… so that way it may prevent it from happening. We have been given some info to read which we haven’t done yet, but we will evaluate whether we think it is worth while or not. My initial reaction is that it might be worth a go since I have read some stuff on the internet about how it can help to reduce the chances of premature labour. I think in the States they give women progesterone injections to help with reducing the risks. But on the flip side because the study isn’t complete (obviously) they aren’t aware of any risks or side effects resulting from taking the progesterone pessaries but they certainly can’t rule it out. So, the question is, does the potential risk outweigh the benefits? We have a bit of time to make up our mind since they don’t normally start the treatment until 20 weeks pregnant and then it goes on until around 36 weeks I think. Of course not everyone in the study will be given the progesterone anyway, since there needs to be a control group, so it’s not to say we will definitely be getting it anyway.

(I had progesterone pessaries 3 x  per day as part of the IVF treatment after our embryo was transferred into me and we were always advised that the pregnancy rates drop off quite rapidly if the pessaries were stopped, so not to stop until they advised us to).

Hard to know what to do, but perhaps we’ll give it a bit of thought and research it for a while before coming to any conclusion… could be a good thing???

High Risk Maternity Clinic

I made the phone call today to the high risk clinic to let them know they should receive a referral for me from my current obstetrician in the next day or two. I felt I needed to pre-warn them I am already 10 weeks pregnant and will be needing to have our nuchal fold scan in two weeks time. Perhaps seems a bit pushy not waiting for them to contact me, but I had a friend who was referred to the high risk clinic at 10 weeks and by the time they processed her referral they had her scheduled for her nuchal fold scan at 14-15 weeks (which might be bordering on too late).

I was so impressed with the response from the team. I had three follow-up phone calls from them today. They hadn’t even received my referral yet, but looked up my hospital notes and read through them. It would have been mainly about my pre-term labour last year with our daughter. She lived for 35 hours. They had obviously read the notes in detail as mentioned the fact that I had no warning when I went into labour which is right. I’m told they showed my notes to a specialist in stillborn and neo-natal deaths, and came back to me with recommendations on switching to a multi-vitamin rather than high dose folic acid tablets I was currently taking and told me I needed to start taking baby aspirin immediately. They also suggested I could take an anti-nausea drug to help ease my morning sickness, but since I am pretty sensitive to even the slightest drugs at times I prefer to play it safe and just ride through it without risking any drugs. I already feel as though I am being well looked after… it’s so nice!!

Apparently I can expect to have an appointment sent to me in the next couple of days as they have already booked me in for a 12 week scan and with one of the obstetricians there. I was just so impressed with the swift response and how quickly everything has been sorted after just a short phone call this morning.

They have also advised me I will need to have an ‘internal’ examination on the same day of the 12 week scan to check the state of my cervix. In the past I have had a laser cone biopsy for treatment for pre-cancerous cells CIN II (a bad smear) so I guess I might have a slightly higher risk of this being a problem, since I have had part of my cervix removed. Apparently they will measure my cervix (oh joy, where do they keep the measuring tape), and if there is any hint of incompetence they will probably put in a surgical suture / stitch. I haven’t researched the risks involved in this procedure, but of course there are some. My obstetrician seemed to think it would be a good idea regardless if it could possibly reduce the chance of a premature birth again, so I guess I will just roll with what the experts think.

Anyway, apart from feeling sick still, I am feeling quite comforted with all the attention from the high risk clinic!

Still not out of the real danger zone yet, but certainly getting closer to it…

10 week pregnancy scan all OK

Phew! We went to our 10 week pregnancy scan today and everything is looking good. Our little bean was moving about quite a bit actually, and there was a flutter for the heartbeat. In the two weeks since our last scan there has been quite a difference in size – going from 17.4mm to 31.8mm. That measurement is right in line with the dates due etc.

So, so far, so good.

Our obstetrician is going to be away from just before Christmas until February,and since there is a 50/50 chance of premature labour again there is a high possibility he would be away for the birth. So we have decided to go with the high risk team (which is part of the public health system), for our pregnancy care. I have heard they are fantastic so fingers crossed they will look after us well. Worst case scenario we will ask to be transferred back to our private obstetrician if we’re not happy.

Apparently since this scan at 10 weeks pregnant is all good, there is a 95% chance things will work out. BUT we of all people understand that many things can go wrong at any time, so we will be keeping the news of our pregnancy under wraps for some time yet. I guess there is the 12 week scan coming up which will be more of a milestone than this scan.

Time will tell…

Exhaustion

This weekend has been really exhausting! Haven’t really done alot, but have been feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus.

On Saturday I meet a friend for brunch but wondered if I’d made the right decision when I started throwing up that morning, just before she got here. I had to pack my little sick container in my handbag, just incase. Luckily I perked up once I started eating at the cafe, so lucky I didn’t have to let the cat out of the bag with her. At least meeting for brunch meant I would be home by early afternoon, and in time for my usual down hill slope in the afternoon – which was particularly bad with me bringing up all of my lunch.

This morning we had grand plans to go out for breakfast and then go see a movie – something I was really looking forward to since I have been feeling very restricted and house bound with all this morning sickness and early pregnancy symptoms. But I ate breakfast out at a cafe, got into the car and threw everything up. Needless to say the movie plans were cancelled and instead it was another exhausting day at home again feeling rough. Roger and I just watched movies and I managed an afternoon sleep.

I am looking forward to feeling normal again one day. We have our scan tomorrow so not thinking about it too much but at the same time it will be good to have out-of-the-way!

9 weeks pregnant

Today I am 9 weeks pregnant. Seems like it has been a long road just to get here… Because we went through IVF this particular journey started months before getting to the pregnancy stage.

So far so good… In a weeks time I go for another ultrasound scan to see how things are going.

I am still feeling nauseous 24/7. But at least mornings are more manageable, so I have been going to work in the mornings, but then going home for lunch and more often than not staying there because I am feeling pretty exhausted and sick. If I manage to have a Nana nap it does help a little, but generally I am just tired.

Still lying low and taking things easy. I am just putting myself first for what feels like one of the first times in my life. I’m having to turn down dinner invitations as dinner times are normally not that stable for me in terms of feeling seedy. The excuses will wear thin soon…

I’m starting to show already, so it is becoming slightly awkward when chosing what I’m going to wear. I’ve noticed a couple of people looking straight at my stomach so assuming there are already some curious people out there (mainly clients) wondering what is going on.

Another few weeks if things go well before we will be able to tell people and explain ‘why’ I have been behaving like this. In the meantime it is a matter of wait and see and hope…

It’s good news!

Had the first ultrasound today to see whether my pregnancy is going as it should be and things are looking OK. All went well and the measurements showed it was exactly the size they expect to see at 8 weeks, 1 day.

We could see the little peanut shape in a big sac. We could see the little flicker that was the heart beat. That was reassuring. He looked at the sac and said it looked good, was a regular shape and gave no indication of anything being wrong. It was all very good news, but instead of celebrating I am just focusing on getting to the next step, which will be another ultrasound scan in two weeks time. I will then be 10 weeks, and our obstetrician has said if we get to that point it will be a much better chance of it being OK.

Of course I am happy about it, but also a bit numb about it and still in a bit of denial that this will happen.

Today has been a bit of a struggle. I wasn’t feeling that great this morning, but we had to drive over the shore for something and the travelling in the car just set me over the edge. I was sick in Rogers car… not such a nice scene. Lucky I had bought a bowl along with me incase I wanted to cut up an orange and eat it on the way – so that made my makeshift sick bowl. Roger was lovely and tipped the bowl out and cleaned it for me, and reassured me by saying ‘actually he felt a bit sick too, after seeing me be sick’. Nice one 🙂

So when I got to the clinic I told them I was a bit sick, and did they have anything, so they ran and got me a sick tub thing. I didn’t have anything left in my stomach though, so it was event free. I was just sick after dinner tonight as well. So I haven’t been too great at keeping things down today.

It’s good news though, so, so far so good. Just another two week wait for the next milestone now…

ivf story / ivf journey

IVF Day 2 – It’s just another day…

IVF injection in the morning, and it hardly hurt at all… just a little red patch again initially and itchy in the spot but all fine. It’s only Day 2 and already I’m feeling like it’s just part of my daily routine.

I had a busy day at work with meetings and deadlines, so haven’t thought about anything too much.

Definitely not feeling bad or any side-effects of the buserelin (but it is only day 2 I guess). I feel pretty normal. (I think my man has been more grumpy than usual so maybe he is feeling the effects instead of me?)

This time last year I bet it was all a little more exciting in a way. I enjoyed showing close friends and family my little IVF pack with injections, drugs and sanitizing wipes. I even gave a live ‘this is how I inject myself’ show on occasion.

This time round we are not telling our friends or family. With losing our daughter last year it has made us look at things differently. We don’t want to feel others disappointment if it doesn’t work out and want to give ourselves a break from the well-meaning lovely people in our lives asking how it’s going all the time. We just want to work through things ourselves at this point and see how we go…

IVF Day 1 – Starting Buserelin injections.

Today I started my first lot of IVF injections. It’s kind of an exciting day actually – knowing today the ball starts rolling.

It wasn’t so bad! I got the needle and drugs all ready, my man assisted by priming the needle. He’s keen to put it in too, but I’m not so keen. Might be fun if it were the other way round…

I must say I have a lot more of a roll to select from than I did last time. I shift the needle tip around until I find a less sensitive spot and then it seems like my skin is suddenly so hard, the needle isn’t able to break it. I guess it could be I am simply too chicken to apply the pressure required to break through the skin so it just sits there until I eventually have the guts to go all the way. The boy is dying to push it in for me, but I know if it hurts it’s best I only have myself to blame. Finally the needle goes in and I hardly feel it at all. Inject the drug and it’s all over. I get a slight itchy feeling afterward around the point of the injection and a little welt like an itchy bite but that goes down after about half an hour.

The day 1 injection is over and it was easy!

This is our second round of IVF so we know what we are in for – we were doing this last year too. Feeling OK about what is ahead of us at this point.

We had a successful pregnancy after our first IVF round, and had a lovely wee baby girl. Sadly though, I went into premature labour late in my 2nd trimester and it all happened so fast there was no stopping it. She lived for just over a day – her undeveloped lungs just couldn’t cope.  We are still working through all the grief of losing our daughter, and understand it is something we will not ‘get over’ but will learn to live with as time goes on. There are more OK days now than bad days, so I guess that’s something.

We had 1 frozen embryo stored, so made a decision to brave it, and give it another go. We went through TER (Transfer & Embryo Replacement) a couple of months ago. That was exciting but scary at the same time. I was optimistic and felt like I had a bundle of joy growing inside me, but I had it wrong. We had a positive pregnancy test, but the levels were so low they didn’t hold much hope. And they were right… I miscarried a couple of weeks later.

So anyway, getting back to today – we are moving forward and having a 2ndgo (hence the username).  I feel confident I/we will be able to cope with the ups and downs faced with IVF. It’s a real sense of achievement in a way knowing that we are taking steps / making progress in a bid to have a chance at something we’ve been wanting for a long time.

Bring it on…