1 in the oven, 2 in the freezer

So excited!

Had a message left on our home phone this afternoon from the embryologist to say our last embryo has survived and has now been frozen for future use. (Bit annoyed they didn’t call my mobile, as leaving a message on a home phone isn’t that ideal). But the good news is the important thing!!

Anyway this embryo is a day 6 blastocyst, so should be a fairly good quality? Still waiting to actually talk to the embryologist and ask all the details, but for now we are just so excited and happy!!

What are the chances? On Friday I was close to tears after hearing our embryos weren’t high-grade, so to have this news that 3 of our 5 embryos have made it is just amazing.

Things can change and there are no guarantees but I am making the most of this moment in time where things are good, better than I expected them to be, to just be happy about it.

I am just celebrating the moment, but aware that it is still just a one day at a time thing.

1 in the oven, 2 in the freezer… cheers to that!!

1 Frozen Embryo

Today has been a complete day of ups and downs. After a really anxious and crazy morning almost going insane waiting for a call from the embryologist we finally got the call, and were pleasantly surprised by what she had to say.

I just had so many negative thoughts going through my head this morning, and when the embryologist didn’t call us early morning, like they normally, my mind started coming up with all sorts of conclusions as to what we might expect. The longer we waited for the phone call, the more anxious I got. Roger was good at recognising my lashing out in the morning about needing to tidy the house was simply disguising my anguish.

We were expecting none of the embryos to have survived for 5 days and be at blastocyst stage. I couldn’t help thinking about the day 3 embryo I had implanted 2 days ago was not of high quality, so my little brain was getting ahead of itself thinking, well the chances of that taking are pretty low, and if that fails to get me pregnant and we have no embryos that make it to being frozen stage, it will be a wasted cycle with no results. I guess it is just such an involved process going through IVF I want at least all those injections, those drugs, to give us a chance at something. I want us to be able to have a good shot at getting pregnant.

In the end I couldn’t handle waiting any longer and called and left a message for the embryologist just before midday and we got a call back soon after.

We were both just really happy with what she had to say. We have one good quality blastocyst that would be frozen today, for use in the future should we require it. Whew! Just so nice to have that little back up, although it isn’t fool-proof, since not all frozen embryos will survive the thawing process… only something like 80%. And sometimes the embryo can be damaged in the thawing process too. The great thing about having a frozen blastocyst is because they are ‘older’ embryos (5 days old rather than 3), they have divided to a point where it is possible to see the area in the embryo which will become the baby and the placenta. So because of their advanced development they generally have a much better chance of survival, and therefore a better chance of me being pregnant.

We also have one embryo which is not quite at blastocyst stage yet, but they will take a look at it tomorrow and if it is looking OK they will freeze that too (it will be a day 6 blastocyst).

I don’t even want to think about the possibility of that embryo surviving too and being frozen… perhaps I don’t want to seem to greedy. I am just so happy that we have one frozen embryo, I don’t want to tempt fate by wishing too hard for the day 6 embryo to survive and be frozen too. We are happy with 1 frozen embryo, 2 would be amazing!!

And of course 2 embryos have dropped off or ‘arrested’ as they call it.

I am curious to know if our frozen embryo is the same embryo that was 12 cells on day 3. Both me and Roger had a good feeling about that embryo for some reason. Partly because it was the only embryo on day 3 that had no sign of ‘fragmentation’. For me I did some relaxation visualisation while I was having acupuncture done before the embryo transfer, and tried to ‘send love’ to all the embryos. I felt like I wasn’t able to as the first embryo in the line was sending it to me instead… weird I know, but I got the feeling that one was going to be ‘the one’. When the embryologist showed us her sheet the first one on her list was the 12 cell embryo.

Despite this we listened to the advice of the embryologist as to which one she would recommend for transfer, and went for that embryo. Who knows though, perhaps the no. 1 in the line like my visualisation is actually the first in line according to the embryologist ranking.

Who knows… another wait to see if our other embryo survives and if it gets to be frozen. Either way we are just thankful we have one little embryo inside me right now, and one frozen.

Embryo Transfer Today

Today I had an embryo replaced, which was 3 days old. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions once again.

On the way to my acupuncture appointment the embryologist called. She didn’t sound overly happy on the phone, although when she told me that all 5 embryos have survived for 3 days so far, I thought that was a small miracle. Happy about that fact as I expected at least two to have dropped off, but as the embryologist explained unfortunately we don’t have any high-grade embryos, which reduces our chance of getting pregnant.

We had 3 embryos which were 8 cells but weren’t high-grade embryos because they all had significant fragmentation (20-30%). Fragmentation means part of the embryo has some damage – areas where there has been an uneven division of cells leaving “bits” which have no chromosomes.

The other two embryos were apparently in worse shape. One of them is a 12 cell embryo which sounds great, and it has no fragmentation at all, but we are told historically they know that embryos that divide too quickly have a lesser chance of surviving. I thought being 12 cell at this stage would be a good sign, but apparently not. Both me and Roger like the sound of the 12 cell, but I guess we need to trust the experts. And the 5th embryo has only 4 cells, so at the opposite end of the spectrum… unlikely to survive much longer because it is so slow to divide.

It was a bit of a blow to get the news that our little embryos aren’t in such good shape as the embryos in the last round. But as with everything in the IVF journey you just have to roll with whatever happens… no control over these things.

I had acupuncture both before and after the embryo replacement as it is meant to help. Even the fertility clinic (who opposes any alternative treatments) recommends it.

We went straight to the clinic after my morning acupuncture session and were there nice and early so we had plenty of time to discuss things with the embryologist and our Dr. Since they are not very good quality embryos I asked if they would consider placing two in, but my Dr was strongly opposed the this idea due to my previous medical history. He said since I had gone into premature labour with our last baby, he would consider it an absolute disaster if I did end up being pregnant with twins. He said in anyone else he would recommend transferring two embryos to increase the chance of pregnancy, since the quality of the embryos aren’t great. But because I went into premature labour and subsequently lost our last baby because of this, he wouldn’t be willing to take the risk of me having twins, as the probability of going into premature labour again is huge. Especially since no one has an answer as to why I went into premature labour (at 26 weeks) with our first baby we lost. The chances he guessed, factoring in my age, could be 10-15% of getting pregnant with twins. Twins are a high risk factor for mother and babies, and there is a greatly increased chance of going into premature labour for even the healthiest of pregnancies.

That was hard to hear in a way as I used to dream of having twins, and wouldn’t it be lovely. I’m sure it would be hugely difficult being a first time mum with twins, but we’d adapt and cope. Once we’d talked it through though I realised I had to just let go that dream, and listen to the experts.

I was all for transferring two, since I figured the chances of both embryos surviving were slim. I was ready to argue my case, but after talking it through with the embryologist and Dr I felt more comfortable with going with their recommendations.

So, we went with the single embryo transfer, although we know the chances of me getting pregnant with this isn’t great. The other 4 embryos will be placed back into the incubator and checked again on Sunday to see if any are still dividing, and if they are, they will either freeze them or leave them for another day and then freeze them.

I just think by the time they check them there will probably be none that have survived. Our Dr said about 20-30% will go on to blastocyst stage normally, but I don’t believe that. I know getting to blastocyst stage is quite a major milestone and aren’t holding out too much hope (but hoping to be proven wrong I guess).

Anyway, at least we have one in now so here is hoping it will stay in there.

FERTILISATION – 5 little embryos

So the embryologist finally called and all 5 embryos fertilised. That’s as good as it gets at this stage, so very pleased.

As soon as I heard the embryologist voice on the phone my heart started racing. Small talk was the last thing on my mind… I just wanted her to get on with it. As soon as she said ‘they’ve all fertilised’ I felt relief. I am still cautious not to get too excited at this stage as I know even though they have all divided and doing well at the moment, that can change, and probably will.

Roger said ‘aren’t my sperm amazing’ when I called him, and I must say I agree… well done those little sperm of his! It bought a little smile to my face 🙂

So now we know our 5 eggs are now 5 embryos, we have to wait again. They won’t check how they are doing until the day after tomorrow (Friday) when they expect they might transfer one of the embryos . If they are poor quality embryos they might transfer two, but it’s likely to be one I think since single embryo transfer (SET) is more common. If they are having difficulty deciding which embryo to transfer they might wait for another couple of days (until Sunday) to allow the embryos to continue to grow and divide so a clearer picture is formed of which is the strongest, best looking embryo with the best odds of surviving once they place it back into me. Going to blastocyst stage is what we did last time, but we had a massive drop off in terms of embryos that died off (or the term they use is arrested).  So I guess there is always a chance they will all arrest and we will have nothing to transfer, but can’t think like that. Still holding out hope, but aware that this is just another event in life we can’t control.

It’s a waiting game again – out of our hands. Hopefully they will continue dividing and doing well. We’ll know more Friday. Fingers crossed for those little embryos!!

Egg Collection over – 5 eggs

Just got back from having ‘egg collection’. From 8-9 follicles we ended up with 5 eggs. Not bad going.

So, egg collection went really well. My Dr decided to use half the amount of sedative this time, since the thing that worried me most about the egg pick up was the recovery. The collection itself I wasn’t worried about at all. I was most worried about feeling bad afterwards like I did last time. Last time I had a difficult egg collection which meant the Dr struggled getting to the follicles, had to puncture through multiple times and afterwards during recovery I blacked out momentarily when I tried to walk out of the clinic and ended up in hospital a day or two later with breathing difficulties due to OHSS.

Anyway, with having less sedative this time it meant my recovery afterwards has been great, but it did mean I felt more pain than last time during the actual collection -the Dr topped me up a bit during it, but still a bit sharp and sore. Not something that would put me off though, and if I need to go through IVF again, I wouldn’t worry about it at all.
 
Seemed to be pretty quick though – quicker than last time. The follicles were obviously in a more accommodating place this time. They use an ultrasound to guide a massive (fine hollow) needle up and pierce through the vaginal wall, into the ovary and suck the fluid out from each follicle to extract the eggs.  

What was it I said about having no more needles… this is the biggest one!

I felt a bit spaced out afterwards, but just stayed sitting for ages, had something to eat and drink and sat in the comfy chair for at least a couple of hours before attempting to leave. Didn’t feel sick and hardly sore afterwards and feeling pretty good now still.  Just a little spaced and tired and think I can feel a slight dull pain coming on, but nothing Panadol won’t sort out.
 
It’s good to have it over and done with!
 
So, we have 5 eggs from the 8 or 9 follicles. Now it is just a waiting game. They incubate the eggs for 4 hours, then will add the sperm to them later on in the day. Will get a call from the embryologist tomorrow morning. It’s all out of our hands now… 
 
They look to do embryo replacement on Friday if all goes well, or if there are a few of similar quality will wait until Sunday and replace at blastocyst stage.
 
Last time we had 8 eggs from the 11 follicles. And in the end we only ended up with 2 embryos, so know it is a bit of a numbers game.
 
Keeping neutral about it at the moment. Feel good that at least this bit is over with.

Just suddenly realising that I am really really tired, and probably need to take some Panadol…

8-9 plump follicles ripe for the picking…

Had my scan today at 8.25 this morning – no sleep in this Sunday morning. Looks like I have 6 or 7 follicles on my right ovary and 2 on the left, so 8 or 9 in total. Pleased with that since a couple of days ago they could only see 5 on the right. The more follicles the better the odds. Apparently 80% of follicles have viable eggs inside. There are 3 biggies on the right that are 19-20mm and the rest are around 16mm, but will be slightly bigger soon.

I have my trigger injection tonight at 10.30pm which will be the last of the injections… yah for that!! The trigger injection works by giving my follicles an artificial LH (luteinizing hormone) surge, which will stimulate my eggs to mature so they are ‘ripe for the picking’ about 36 hours later. The eggs are housed in the follicles.

This means Tuesday at 10.30am I will have egg collection. It’s all go…

Although I’m better than I was yesterday, I have had a killer headache again that comes on early-mid morning and just doesn’t leave. I think it is the buserelin injections though, and I’ve had the last of those so fingers crossed no debilitating headache tomorrow!! Panadol just don’t even touch the sides with the magnitude of this kind of headache.

I’m feeling like I am just staying a bit neutral about things. It’s good I have a fairly normal number of follicles (for me), and I’m fairly happy about that, but I realise those numbers can drop so dramatically, and it is still a rollercoaster ride ahead. So I’m keeping things on the level at the moment. Pleased with how things are going but not over excited.

Fragile and Weak…

I am feeling terrible today. I don’t know if it is that I’m sick, or the 33 days of IVF drugs paying its toll on my body. I’m not one to get headaches, but I have a constant intensely aching head. I am exhausted and feel worse than I’ve felt for a long time, so it’s another day shuffling between being on the couch and in bed for me. I am trying not to think about it. Roger has been great looking after me – keeping me fed and entertained. I’m just focusing on one day at a time.

Scan and blood test tomorrow to see how my follicles are growing and how my estrogen (e2) levels are doing, and then maybe a trigger injection on Sunday night if all is well.

Even though this is the 2nd round of IVF I am feeling as though I’m almost done with it. Being sick at the same time can’t help though, especially with flu symptoms. If I can get through today, maybe tomorrow will be better.

7 Follicles = 7 Eggs?

Just got back from a scan to see how many follicles I have growing.

Very excited to say 5 on the right ovary, 2 on the left. Not surprised I have more on my right side than left (since that side’s more sensitive).  I’m not sure how I feel, 7 follicles is pretty good – but I have heard about other people who have 16 or 21 or something crazy and wonder why I never have quite so many. Last time I had 5 on one side and 6 on the other, and in the finish only ended up with 2 viable embryos. I am staying positive though and pleased we have 7. It’s better than 6 or 5 or 4… you get the picture. (Secretly hoping they will find an extra 5 stashed away somewhere when they next look 🙂 )

2 Follicles are 15mms and the rest are 12 or 13mm, so that’s a good size hopefully. By Sunday they will be about 4mm bigger.  By the way, follicles are like the outer shell which houses the egg  inside. Although I have 7 follicles at the moment (according to the scan) there is no way of telling if they all have eggs inside. Last time we had 11 follicles, but only 8 eggs.

My E2 levels (estrogen levels) are apparently ‘rising well’ although they are a little higher than the optimal graph they compare them too. They’re at 3390, so have risen quite a lot in the last 2 days considering that test showed 1233.

I’m off for another blood test and scan on Sunday to see how the follicles are developing and to get an idea of when I might have to take my trigger injection (yet another drug) which will stimulate those little eggs inside the follicles to mature. The Dr seems to think I will take the trigger on Sunday night, for egg collection on Tuesday but the nurse just phoned me and said she thought Monday night for trigger and egg collection on Wednesday. Anyway, it will be happening soon…

On the homeward stretch now.