Off to hospital tomorrow

They have booked me in to get a cervical suture at the hospital tomorrow. Can’t say I’m looking forward to it, but I guess it sounds like this might be the best thing going forward to minimise the risk of going into premature labour again. The chances are 50:50 of me going into premature labour this time round so I guess anything that can be done to prevent it are worth giving a go.

The obstetrician looked up the notes from my laser cone biopsy I’d had 11 years ago and said she considered the amount of cervix I had removed to be significant. I had a bad smear which indicated there were pre-cancerous cells (Cin II) way back then, so required the laser cone biopsy to treat and remove the area of cells that weren’t looking good. I remember at the time being just given a local for the procedure (not pleasant) so was quite aware of what was happening, and remember them removing quite a cone-shaped piece. Turns out it was approx 25mm x 25mm x 25mm – a considerable amount removed according to our obstetrician.

So with the fact that I previously went into premature labour, combined with the amount of cervix I have already had removed they advised us to get a cervical suture which will aid in keeping my cervix closed should I start to go into early labour again. I am looking it as a thing that needs to be done for the greater good I guess… The alternative was just to have weekly ultrasounds to check the size of the cervix, but apparently once the cervix starts to dilate it is too late to do anything to stop it.

So I’ll be having a very early breakfast tomorrow morning (nothing allowed after 7am), then off to hospital I’ll go. I need to be there by 9am, and the procedure will be performed that afternoon. I’m a bit of a problem child when it comes to anaesthetic as I am difficult to intubate, but I’m told instead of a general anaesthetic or a spinal / epidural they will give me a sedative instead. I was initially quite surprised a cervical stitch would require such hard-core pain relief… I don’t expect it to be pleasant, but I am sure I have been through worse 🙂

I was initially quite worried about the effects the sedative will have on the baby and really don’t like the thought of it, but there is no real alternative. So I am just going with the flow. They have reassured me that they use sedatives that are the safest possible for pregnancy, so I guess I just have to trust I am in safe hands.

Depending on how things go I’ll either be let to go home later on that evening, or may be required to stay overnight. So that’s my latest. Oh, and I am 13 weeks pregnant today.

11 Weeks Pregnant

Well, today I am 11 weeks pregnant. I am off for a scan tomorrow at the hospital to see if everything is OK or not. I am still having spotting, but haven’t had anymore of those frightening cramps since Sat so have pretty much been on bed rest / couch potato duty to try to minimise the risk of something happening. I’ve had a bit of lower back pain too, but who knows if this is related to the other symptoms or not.

My Mum has been staying up here which has been great!! It’s at times like this there is no-one like Mum 🙂 Roger has been so fantastic too, but it is so good for him to have a bit of a break from being slave boy to me.

Will update again once I’ve been to the scan.

Scary symptoms

Well things still not so great. I have spent most of the day in bed, with little spells of lazing on the couch.  Still feeling really exhausted, and getting brown bleeding… turning darker. I got a bit worried tonight as I had some quite bad pain / cramping in my lower abdomen too, but it eased off after I’d been to the loo. I am not moving about much at all, and as usual feeling like I am on home detention. As usual Roger has been fantastic and catering to my every need. Poor guy is going to need a break from all this running around after me soon! My Mum is coming up tomorrow so will be nice to have her around.

I did speak to the woman’s assessment unit today and they said some women do get brown spotting during pregnancy but if it gets worse, turns into bright red or gets heavy and I get cramping with it I need to go to the hospital. I don’t think the cramping I had tonight counts since it eased off… fingers crossed anyway.

Plan to just stay in bed for most of tomorrow too…

High Risk Maternity Clinic

I made the phone call today to the high risk clinic to let them know they should receive a referral for me from my current obstetrician in the next day or two. I felt I needed to pre-warn them I am already 10 weeks pregnant and will be needing to have our nuchal fold scan in two weeks time. Perhaps seems a bit pushy not waiting for them to contact me, but I had a friend who was referred to the high risk clinic at 10 weeks and by the time they processed her referral they had her scheduled for her nuchal fold scan at 14-15 weeks (which might be bordering on too late).

I was so impressed with the response from the team. I had three follow-up phone calls from them today. They hadn’t even received my referral yet, but looked up my hospital notes and read through them. It would have been mainly about my pre-term labour last year with our daughter. She lived for 35 hours. They had obviously read the notes in detail as mentioned the fact that I had no warning when I went into labour which is right. I’m told they showed my notes to a specialist in stillborn and neo-natal deaths, and came back to me with recommendations on switching to a multi-vitamin rather than high dose folic acid tablets I was currently taking and told me I needed to start taking baby aspirin immediately. They also suggested I could take an anti-nausea drug to help ease my morning sickness, but since I am pretty sensitive to even the slightest drugs at times I prefer to play it safe and just ride through it without risking any drugs. I already feel as though I am being well looked after… it’s so nice!!

Apparently I can expect to have an appointment sent to me in the next couple of days as they have already booked me in for a 12 week scan and with one of the obstetricians there. I was just so impressed with the swift response and how quickly everything has been sorted after just a short phone call this morning.

They have also advised me I will need to have an ‘internal’ examination on the same day of the 12 week scan to check the state of my cervix. In the past I have had a laser cone biopsy for treatment for pre-cancerous cells CIN II (a bad smear) so I guess I might have a slightly higher risk of this being a problem, since I have had part of my cervix removed. Apparently they will measure my cervix (oh joy, where do they keep the measuring tape), and if there is any hint of incompetence they will probably put in a surgical suture / stitch. I haven’t researched the risks involved in this procedure, but of course there are some. My obstetrician seemed to think it would be a good idea regardless if it could possibly reduce the chance of a premature birth again, so I guess I will just roll with what the experts think.

Anyway, apart from feeling sick still, I am feeling quite comforted with all the attention from the high risk clinic!

Still not out of the real danger zone yet, but certainly getting closer to it…

10 week pregnancy scan all OK

Phew! We went to our 10 week pregnancy scan today and everything is looking good. Our little bean was moving about quite a bit actually, and there was a flutter for the heartbeat. In the two weeks since our last scan there has been quite a difference in size – going from 17.4mm to 31.8mm. That measurement is right in line with the dates due etc.

So, so far, so good.

Our obstetrician is going to be away from just before Christmas until February,and since there is a 50/50 chance of premature labour again there is a high possibility he would be away for the birth. So we have decided to go with the high risk team (which is part of the public health system), for our pregnancy care. I have heard they are fantastic so fingers crossed they will look after us well. Worst case scenario we will ask to be transferred back to our private obstetrician if we’re not happy.

Apparently since this scan at 10 weeks pregnant is all good, there is a 95% chance things will work out. BUT we of all people understand that many things can go wrong at any time, so we will be keeping the news of our pregnancy under wraps for some time yet. I guess there is the 12 week scan coming up which will be more of a milestone than this scan.

Time will tell…

Exhaustion

This weekend has been really exhausting! Haven’t really done alot, but have been feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus.

On Saturday I meet a friend for brunch but wondered if I’d made the right decision when I started throwing up that morning, just before she got here. I had to pack my little sick container in my handbag, just incase. Luckily I perked up once I started eating at the cafe, so lucky I didn’t have to let the cat out of the bag with her. At least meeting for brunch meant I would be home by early afternoon, and in time for my usual down hill slope in the afternoon – which was particularly bad with me bringing up all of my lunch.

This morning we had grand plans to go out for breakfast and then go see a movie – something I was really looking forward to since I have been feeling very restricted and house bound with all this morning sickness and early pregnancy symptoms. But I ate breakfast out at a cafe, got into the car and threw everything up. Needless to say the movie plans were cancelled and instead it was another exhausting day at home again feeling rough. Roger and I just watched movies and I managed an afternoon sleep.

I am looking forward to feeling normal again one day. We have our scan tomorrow so not thinking about it too much but at the same time it will be good to have out-of-the-way!

50 / 50 chance of another premature birth

At the moment I am just focusing on this moment in time… I am about 9 1/2 weeks pregnant and on Monday we’ll go for a scan to see how things are going.

So even though I am just taking it one day at a time I must admit at the back of my mind I have the obstetrician words of warning. If this pregnancy does continue we have a 50 / 50 chance of going into premature labour again. This means we could lose another baby because of extreme prematurity. The Dr’s only hope is that we go beyond the 26 week mark this time. Because they never actually identified the reason I went into premature labour with our daughter last year there is no telling if it will happen again. A 50/50 chance is pretty high!

Scary thought, but will just try keeping things in perspective and take one step at a time. No use worrying about that when we’re not even out of the first trimester yet.

9 weeks pregnant

Today I am 9 weeks pregnant. Seems like it has been a long road just to get here… Because we went through IVF this particular journey started months before getting to the pregnancy stage.

So far so good… In a weeks time I go for another ultrasound scan to see how things are going.

I am still feeling nauseous 24/7. But at least mornings are more manageable, so I have been going to work in the mornings, but then going home for lunch and more often than not staying there because I am feeling pretty exhausted and sick. If I manage to have a Nana nap it does help a little, but generally I am just tired.

Still lying low and taking things easy. I am just putting myself first for what feels like one of the first times in my life. I’m having to turn down dinner invitations as dinner times are normally not that stable for me in terms of feeling seedy. The excuses will wear thin soon…

I’m starting to show already, so it is becoming slightly awkward when chosing what I’m going to wear. I’ve noticed a couple of people looking straight at my stomach so assuming there are already some curious people out there (mainly clients) wondering what is going on.

Another few weeks if things go well before we will be able to tell people and explain ‘why’ I have been behaving like this. In the meantime it is a matter of wait and see and hope…

It’s good news!

Had the first ultrasound today to see whether my pregnancy is going as it should be and things are looking OK. All went well and the measurements showed it was exactly the size they expect to see at 8 weeks, 1 day.

We could see the little peanut shape in a big sac. We could see the little flicker that was the heart beat. That was reassuring. He looked at the sac and said it looked good, was a regular shape and gave no indication of anything being wrong. It was all very good news, but instead of celebrating I am just focusing on getting to the next step, which will be another ultrasound scan in two weeks time. I will then be 10 weeks, and our obstetrician has said if we get to that point it will be a much better chance of it being OK.

Of course I am happy about it, but also a bit numb about it and still in a bit of denial that this will happen.

Today has been a bit of a struggle. I wasn’t feeling that great this morning, but we had to drive over the shore for something and the travelling in the car just set me over the edge. I was sick in Rogers car… not such a nice scene. Lucky I had bought a bowl along with me incase I wanted to cut up an orange and eat it on the way – so that made my makeshift sick bowl. Roger was lovely and tipped the bowl out and cleaned it for me, and reassured me by saying ‘actually he felt a bit sick too, after seeing me be sick’. Nice one 🙂

So when I got to the clinic I told them I was a bit sick, and did they have anything, so they ran and got me a sick tub thing. I didn’t have anything left in my stomach though, so it was event free. I was just sick after dinner tonight as well. So I haven’t been too great at keeping things down today.

It’s good news though, so, so far so good. Just another two week wait for the next milestone now…

8 weeks pregnant

Today is the day I go for my scan. I’m 8 weeks (and 1 day) pregnant, so at this scan I’ll get to know the viability of the pregnancy. It will be good to know where we stand and if things are as they should be. It seems to have taken SO long to get to this day, so keen to get there and get it over and done with!

I am still throwing up, so the morning sickness (or all day sickness as it is for me) is not that pleasant still. In the weekend I thought it had settled down a bit, and felt it had eased off a bit, but I was back to throwing up again last night, so it obviously hasn’t just gone away. Bummer!

I keep wondering what if’s… Like what if the scan shows it’s not dated right. With IVF we know the exact date… no question. Quite a few people I know have said they had discrepancies with the dates, when the person doing the scan has said ‘you must be wrong about the dates’ because this is showing a 6 week fetus and yet they were 8 weeks for example, and then they end up miscarrying. So if the size or development isn’t in line with 8 weeks I will pretty much think the worst.

Wondering if we will see a heartbeat? Wondering if we will see one or two (probably not likely but still possible). Wondering if we should stick with our obstetrician or be referred to the public high risk clinic…

So many questions! I did go for my blood test on Friday and the HCG level was between 100,000 and 200,000 so still in the same 75 percentile so that is good. Only a couple of hours to go, and we will be at the clinic, so I guess I just need to hold out for that!

Will update once I am back from the scan…

I told my Mum I’m pregnant

Finally, I told someone I was pregnant – my Mum. It was so nice to be able to tell her. I really struggled the other day lying on the couch feeling sorry for myself, feeling sick and I just thought I need to tell someone so I don’t feel like I am so alone. Roger is great, but he can’t be around every second of the day.

My Mum sounded a bit down on the phone when I spoke to her, so it was nice to drop it into the conversation that I was pregnant and surprise her. I could hear the excitment and smile in her voice once I’d told her. She was really happy and almost in disbelief to hear the news. Her first question was ‘was it natural?’. I guess she would have felt even more comforted if it was natural, but also perhaps because she had absolutely no idea we’d been through IVF.

It was nice to share the news with her, to make her happy, and be able to explain why I been acting strange lately. So it was kind of like ‘the reveal’.

She was really shocked to hear that we had gone through a full IVF round… she had no idea. All that sneaking the drugs out of the fridge when I was staying at their house and tiptoeing into the bathroom and locking the door so I could inject myself without anyone knowing. It worked – she didn’t suspect a thing!

I’m glad I told her! It’s such early days still so I really hope she doesn’t have to share in our disappointment if things don’t go so well. One day at a time…

HCG Level risen to 852

Good news! Just had a call from the clinic to say my HCG levels have risen ‘beautifully’ and well above the average. This morning I had to get up early (despite being Saturday) and trot off to the lab to get my second blood test for the week… only 4 days since the last one.

Always a relief to get good news that things are where they should be, and it sounds promising. I haven’t been as worried waiting for this blood test as I was waiting for the first blood test though. I guess I have had all these pregnancy signs which have made me start to actually feel pregnant so that has offered me the reassurance I didn’t have before.

Anyway, my HCG levels have now risen from 161 on Tuesday to 852 today (Saturday). The nurse told me on the phone it is well above the average they compare it against on their charts. So very pleased about that. I read somewhere it is supposed to double every 2-3 days, but I guess mine has increased quicker than that.

The plan from here on is just to take it as easy as I can, and have another blood test on Friday. I get to wean myself off the progesterone pessaries (which I have been giving myself since I had the embryo transfer two and a half weeks ago). I’ll go from 6 a day down to 3 a day for the next 4-5 days and then stop altogether. So things are progressing… If all goes well I will be going for a scan at around 7 weeks to get a better picture of how things are going… but there are a few weeks to go before we are at that point.

I am most pleased with the fact that my bleeding has finally tapered off and now completely stopped. It does seem to relate to me not doing much – in fact I’ve made a conscious effort to do as little as possible. I plan to just continue to take it easy as it has certainly seemed to have made a difference. Roger has to take on quite a load because of it, but he can cope (I hope :-))

Anyway – about my early pregnancy symptoms I’ve been feeling…
1. Roger’s breath smells like dog (very sensitive sense of smell)
2. Very tired (nana naps during the day, and early nights)
3. Nauseous (mostly during the day, and especially if I am a little hungry)
4. Like I want to eat potatoes (carbs are my friend)
5. Emotional (tears come easily and at times short-tempered)

OMG – It’s positive

Just got off the phone… after a loooong wait the clinic finally called with the good news.

I am pregnant. I just can’t believe it!

I have had, and still have all this bleeding which is normally not a good sign and yet the blood test is positive and I am pregnant. Who would have thought? The HCG levels at 191, which is good too. They like it to be over 50 – so far, so good.

It is early days though and anything can happen. I am just in absolute shock that the pregnancy test came back as positive and I am pregnant – who would have thought??

So excited and happy and nervous right now.

I am going to totally take it easy and stay in one place as much as possible as the bleeding lessens if I do less. So that’s my mission – to do as little as possible.

🙂

Waiting for the phonecall

Well I got up early this morning to go have my blood test, and I’m now anxiously awaiting a phone call from the clinic to tell me if I am pregnant or not.

Not sure if it is nerves or co-incidence or signs that I might be pregnant but while I was eating breakfast this morning I started feeling sick, and this morning I have had to go wees about 4 or 5 times. I’m still bleeding so I know the changes aren’t that high considering, but I am still holding out hope.

It’s Rogers birthday today, so it would be great to have a positive pregnancy test (although there are no guarantees). He is at home with me so when the phone call comes in we will both be free to express our emotions without anyone else around, whatever the result.

I have booked a hairdresser appointment this afternoon, so at least I will be getting out of the house later on, and getting my hair done always makes me feel better. I might even go for something drastic if the news is all bad.

Confused…

I am really confused right now. I have bleeding still but this morning when I brushed my teeth I started dry reaching. It wasn’t until afterwards I realised I used to do that last time I was pregnant. Perhaps it is just a cruel co-incidence… and the dry reaching is meaningless, or at least not linked in with pregnancy signs. I guess I just have to keep waiting it out until tomorrow.